Wanted: Volunteers for Facemask Enforcement, a “Futuristic” news special to The Grant County Beat by Peter Burrows elburropete@gmail.com – silvercityburro.com 8/10/20 

With Silver City’s new ordinance mandating facemasks, many concerned citizens are worried that the local police force will not be able to handle the increased responsibilities. In addition, some are concerned that facemasks alone may not be enough.  

“The facemask law is a good start, but people should also be required to carry yardsticks. Social distancing is just as important,” declared George Julien.  “Hell, three feet may not be enough,” he added. 

Julien was one of three senior citizens interviewed yesterday while they were having lunch at a picnic table at the El Viejo burrito stand on Broadway and Hwy. 90.   

Another diner, Skip Thacker, was more concerned about enforcement: “It’s a typical ‘feel good’ piece of virtue signaling,” he said of the new ordinance. “Who’s going to make sure golfers and tennis players are in compliance? What about joggers, bicyclers and people walking laps at Fox Field?” 

“We need some active citizen support,” chimed in the third person at the table, who identified himself only as El Burro, “and I don’t mean just social shamers, you know, those people who scream at you to put a mask on while you’re at Walmart.”     

Julien and Thacker both agreed, with Julien saying, “The cops have got enough to do without this facemask law, even though the law is obviously necessary and is something we should all be damned proud of.”  

All three agreed that a citizens’ task force was needed to send volunteers to monitor places like tennis courts, hiking trails, and golf courses, especially golf courses. 

Thacker, a frequent golfer at the city-owned golf course, said, “It is just disgusting to see people without masks just walking down the fairway, hitting golf balls, or on a green putting, especially on a green just putting away, as if they had no responsibility to the rest of us. I’ve tried to reason with such people, but we need deputized volunteers, ARMED volunteers, to deal with such scofflaws” 

El Burro said, “I couldn’t agree more. Not wearing a facemask should be the same as assault with a deadly weapon. BOOM! Bye, bye, evil-dirty-bastard-germ-spreader.” 

Julien added that “barefacers” deserve the same punishment as climate deniers, Islamophobes and other racists: “Hang the bastards.”   

Everybody nodded in agreement and the conversation turned to how exemplary Silver City’s new law was. This reporter noted that it was rumored that a CNN crew had recently tried to interview Mayor Ken Ladner about the progressive new ordinance, but since the CNN crew was from out-of-state, the Mayor had requested that they first enter into a 15-day quarantine.   

El Burro said that, if true, it only showed that common sense was alive and well here in Silver City.   

(Note to readers: The above is entirely fictional. Old friends George and Skip are real enough, but not the quotes attributed to them, although they approved of the “quotes.”  PB) 

Intellectual Insanity by Peter Burrows 8/3/20  elburropete@gmail.com silvercityburro.com 

“There are some ideas so absurd that only an intellectual could believe them.” George Orwell 

The world is full of intellectuals these days. Who else would think that letting prisoners go free to save them from Covid-19 was a good idea? Only people who bear absolutely no responsibility for the consequences. One of the hallmarks of intellectuals is that they hardly ever pay for the damages their ideas cause.  

For example, they hold the absurd idea that the death penalty is no deterrent to murder, even though it is obvious that an executed murderer will never kill again. That obvious fact may become all too relevant as the recent Covid-19 prison release has also freed at least one convicted murderer.  

Should that murderer kill again, will the brilliant social engineers who made that murder possible pay any price? Ha! Our tort system is a mess, with far too many people being sued, but I would be fine with a few more in the docket, namely those idiots who enable criminals.  

This reveals another absurdity, the “lives matter” nonsense, whether it’s “Black lives matter,” or its counterpart, “All lives matter.” Before you condemn me to an eternity in Baltimore, let me explain. 

In Chicago last Saturday, a 20-month-old baby was killed in a drive by shooting. The week before, a three-year-old was killed in another drive-by shooting.  The lives of those two children matter; the lives of the killers matter not at all and, in fact, should be snuffed out ASAP. 

The skin color of any of those involved in these tragedies does not matter one whit. Only an intellectual would think otherwise. In fact, to an intellectual, almost all things are “race, race, race,” unless they are “gender, gender, gender.”      

For example, who else but an intellectual would believe that when a little boy puts on a dress, he becomes a little girl? You have to have a college degree to believe that, my friend, or at least have a law degree and work for the ACLU.   

Last April 30, the ACLU put on their web site an article by two of their attorneys, “Four Myths About Trans Athletes, Debunked.” In that article you will learn that one of the myths – myths – underlying unfair discrimination against transgender girls is that: “Sex is binary, apparent at birth, and identifiable through singular biological characteristics.” 

If you believe that, the ACLU would like to set you straight (no pun intended): “FACT: Trans girls are girls.” They expand on this “fact” with the following: “Girls who are trans are repeatedly told that they are not “real” girls and boys who are trans are told they are not “real” boys. Non-binary people are told that their gender is not real and that they must be either boys or girls. None of these statements are true.”  

Did you get that? “None of these statements are true.” And why is that? Because, “Trans people are exactly who we say we are.”  Exactly? That’s what they wrote: “exactly.” Well, that settles that. Pardon me while I barf.  

Gender subjectivity is probably the most obvious nonsense ever pushed by the left.  Nonsense or not, it promises to do a helluva lot of damage. The ACLU is part of at least two lawsuits supporting the “right” of boys to compete against girls at both the high school and college level.  

Furthermore, it appears that the Olympics is going to allow these self-identified women to compete as women, which will destroy the women’s Olympics. Who wants to watch such a travesty? Ditto women’s soccer. 

In the meantime, the real girls who should be winning the trophies and enjoying the fame are left with bitter tears. Where is the justice in that? Where are the outraged fathers?  

Yes, I wrote, “real girls.” If that offends you, you are probably an intellectual.  If I was a better human being, I would feel sorry for you.